THE SAGA OF THE LOVE LETTERS
by lady-of-the-shadows89
Summary: OK folks, this was just written on the spur of the moment, ok, Draco's writin fake love letters to people, what good will come of it? NONE! except this fic of course!


Disclaimer; I do not own Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy, or any other related characters, they belong to J. K.R., niether do I own the word 'disclaimer', it belongs to the english language.  
  
A/N; I wrote this on the spur of the moment, be warned, queerness ahead. You have been warned, MWA HA HA!  
  
THE SAGA OF THE LOVE LETTERS  
  
* * *  
  
Dearest Colin,  
  
I've wanted to tell you this for so long, and I just can't keep this pretence any longer, the thing is my dear, I love you. I've watched you from afar for so long and I've finaly decided to let you know how I feel.  
  
We should be together, forever.  
  
Lots of love,  
From your no-longer secret admirer,  
Harry Potter.  
  
P.S. I've sent this with a different owl so that people don't know that I sent you this.  
  
Draco sat-back in his arm-chair and admired his handiwork, with any luck, the whole school would believe that 'perfect' Harry Potter was gay by tomorrow afternoon, and then, gods-willing, that Gryffindor ponce will be driven out of the school by hate crimes by the end of next-week. This plan is absolutly foolproof! With that last thought, Draco cackled maniacly, stood and checked that no one had heard said cackle and headed up to the dormitory and to his bed where he immeadiatly fell asleep, into a dream of what his fellow students would do once they found-out that Potter was gay.  
  
It was a rather good dream too.  
  
* * *  
  
The next morning it was Saturday, Draco stumbled out of bed at 8:30, pulled on his robes and headed in the direction of the owlery. Draco automatically went strait to his own owl, Elton, tied the letter onto his leg and told him to deliver it to Colin Creevy then went down to the Great Hall to join his fellow Slytherins for breakfast.  
  
Sure enough, Potter, Weasle and Mudblood all arrived at the same time, followed shortly after by the little mudblood Creevy, carrying his rediculous camera around his neck. The little puff would probably be so happy when he gets the letter, he might even cry! Mwa ha ha! Damn, I've gotta stop doing that, people wil hear.  
  
Oh, good, here comes Elton now! Mwa ha ha! "Yes, hello Pansy, I was laughing crazily, but I'll stop now."  
  
"Oh good, I thought you were going to keep disturbing the peace."  
  
Oooooooooh, Creevy has the letter, but he don't look to happy, oh dear, where's he taking Elton? This is bad, this is very, very bad. Taking the owl to Potter, why? Well I don't have nuthin to worry about, I copied his writing style perfectly, unless, OH DAMN! I sent the bloody letter with my own owl, how stupid can you get? And I forgot, Creevy is Potter's biggest fan, he can probably tell that Potter didn't write that, DAMN, DAMN, DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
And Potter knows what my owl looks like, I should never have sent him that love letter from Pansy.  
  
* SMACK *  
  
DAMN!! Iwas thinking out loud, OH THE PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
* * *  
  
Just then, Harry Potter walked over and said to Draco, "you are STUPID". Then he pulled out his wand and said, "you're gonna PAY for that one, Malfoy," just like the way Ron said that in the second movie, then he said a curse which made a 16 tonn weight fall on Draco's head.  
  
But the curse went slightly wrong, and a 16 tonn weight fell on every Slytherin in the school, even the ones who were'nt in the Great Hall, like Snape who was in the dungeons watching gay porn.  
  
It took Mr. Filch three weeks to clean all the splatted body parts off the castle, and by then they had been starting to smell.  
  
* * *  
  
"Everyone was so happy that the Slytherins were gone, that we all had a BIG feast to celebrate and everyone was thankful that Draco had sent that fake love letter, so kids, that's why we now celebrate '16 tonns on Draco' day."  
  
"Wow, is that how you started going out with Dad, Dad?"  
  
"Why yes it is. Hey, Colin, Whats for dinner love? I'm starving."  
  
"We're having roast, Harry dear."  
  
* * *  
  
A/N; People at school tell me that I'm evil, I have no idea why, who said evilness was a bad thing anyway? As always, please review, chocolate and the services of Draco if you do!  
  
DRACO: She's not kiding, you know.  
  
SHADOW: Damn straight, I'm not kidding! 


End file.
